Today, as I sat eating in the Cannon Center (affectionately deemed the "Cancer") my friends began discussing a certain French dish known as haggis. They told me it was...I honestly don't remember exactly. They got to the words "sheep intestine" and I shut off my ears promptly in revulsion. One friend sensed my disgust and sensitively comforted me by asking, "Don't you know what hot dogs are?" I said I didn't want to.
Now, I am starting to ponder my declination. What would it hurt me to hear what the ingredients of a hot dog are? I've eaten plenty and never gotten sick from them! Why would the words associated with elements of hot dogs make me so queasy?
I attribute it to the power of the word. Words are just noises, but the mental images and meanings they invoke are powerful enough to change the destinies of nations and the dinners of freshmen. They have the power to create worlds, and destroy worlds. Wow. That's power, eh?
With the great potential words have to shape our lives, it is a little worrisome to realize that everyone has them in their toolbox. In the words of the infamous Spiderman, "with great power, comes great responsibility."
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
The Nearly-True Ballad of Ethos, Pathos, and Logos
Long, Long ago, in the East hemisphere,
Where the food is authentic and dank,
Lived three Greek poets: Ethos, Pathos, and Logos,
and their little rotweiler named Frank.
One evening the Greecians waxed hungry indeed,
and decided to go out to eat
(when considering how much the Greecians urn,
it was really a jem of a treat)
So they put on their best, and were really well dressed,
in their Frat-party bed-sheet style Togas
And they set out to dine in "It's Greek to Me"
until they were stopped short by Logos.
Said he, "Know ye not that such food is chock full
of cholesterol and MSG?
And statistics do show that such substances will
cause your death before you're 63?"
Replied Ethos, "Good friend, I'm a fine conneiseur,
and I know what is good and what's not!"
And Pathos appealed to Logos' lusts,
and he said "Dude, the waitress is hot!"
"Well, I still would prefer that you both would defer
to the facts and statistics of science."
Logos' plea just offended the friends he'd befriended
and undermined Ethos' self-reliance.
Replied Ethos with a huff, "Why, you insolent wuff!
Do you challenge my authority?"
Pathos went for endorphins, saying "Think of the orphans!
This restaurant donates to charity!"
At this moment, young Frank, giving his leash a yank,
Ran out in the middle of the street.
Ethos yelled, "Come back!" Pathos muttered "O crap!"
and Logos cried "Streets are unsafe!"
And wouldn't you know, a sweet chariot swung low,
and Frank gave a yelp of despair.
Pathos broke down and cried as sweet Frankie died
While Logos inspected his hair.
Ethos tried CPR, (He'd been trained in first aid)
but it was to no avail.
Logos said, "Well, he's dead, and his spirit has fled."
and Pathos let out a wail.
But Logos said "It's ok, the fact known today
is that all dogs will go up to heaven.
Frank's gone, his remains
Must not be in vain!(s)
So they went right back home circa 7.
They never decided which restaurant was best,
but in the end it all turned out alright.
Cause they pulled out the grill, and they brought forth the kill,
and had a delicious frank roast that night. :)
Where the food is authentic and dank,
Lived three Greek poets: Ethos, Pathos, and Logos,
and their little rotweiler named Frank.
One evening the Greecians waxed hungry indeed,
and decided to go out to eat
(when considering how much the Greecians urn,
it was really a jem of a treat)
So they put on their best, and were really well dressed,
in their Frat-party bed-sheet style Togas
And they set out to dine in "It's Greek to Me"
until they were stopped short by Logos.
Said he, "Know ye not that such food is chock full
of cholesterol and MSG?
And statistics do show that such substances will
cause your death before you're 63?"
Replied Ethos, "Good friend, I'm a fine conneiseur,
and I know what is good and what's not!"
And Pathos appealed to Logos' lusts,
and he said "Dude, the waitress is hot!"
"Well, I still would prefer that you both would defer
to the facts and statistics of science."
Logos' plea just offended the friends he'd befriended
and undermined Ethos' self-reliance.
Replied Ethos with a huff, "Why, you insolent wuff!
Do you challenge my authority?"
Pathos went for endorphins, saying "Think of the orphans!
This restaurant donates to charity!"
At this moment, young Frank, giving his leash a yank,
Ran out in the middle of the street.
Ethos yelled, "Come back!" Pathos muttered "O crap!"
and Logos cried "Streets are unsafe!"
And wouldn't you know, a sweet chariot swung low,
and Frank gave a yelp of despair.
Pathos broke down and cried as sweet Frankie died
While Logos inspected his hair.
Ethos tried CPR, (He'd been trained in first aid)
but it was to no avail.
Logos said, "Well, he's dead, and his spirit has fled."
and Pathos let out a wail.
But Logos said "It's ok, the fact known today
is that all dogs will go up to heaven.
Frank's gone, his remains
Must not be in vain!(s)
So they went right back home circa 7.
They never decided which restaurant was best,
but in the end it all turned out alright.
Cause they pulled out the grill, and they brought forth the kill,
and had a delicious frank roast that night. :)
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
You've Been a Wonderful Audience!
The subject of audience reminds me of speech and debate competitions last year. In an event called "duo," (a two-man skit in ten minutes) I was one of two mans in a duo pair. As a part of the humorous skit, I was supposed to say the line "I know that the real James Bond would have wanted his name to live on, embodied in the body of some other hot-blooded, muscular young ruffian." My partner and I would then stare at a predetermined and unsuspecting member of the audience in a creepy way. There was formulaic timing in this. We stared for 3-5 seconds. The audience caught on to what we were doing and chuckled. The chuckling subsided. We continued to stare for another few seconds. The uncomfortability of the fact that we were still staring creepily and earnestly led the audience to an even louder laugh. As it died, we would move forward with the piece.
It was fun, it was funny. Until that fateful morning. Our audience changed. We stood in our pressed suits in a small classroom, performing for about twenty attentive audience members. The time came, and I deliver my line: "hot-blooded, muscular young ruffian!" We stared at the specified person. Nothing happened. He stared back with a dazed unflinching look, as if to say "oh, the monkeys stopped talking! Interesting,..." An awful silence filled the room. Everyone stared at us. No one laughed. 5 seconds passed. My partner and I increased our creepy look from "hey there, I'm your facebook stalker!" to "Come here and let me eat your liver, child!" Nothing. 10 seconds.
AWKWARD!
We moved on quickly, trying not to laugh ourselves at how utterly ackward the situation was.
Clearly, audience is important. What one audience thinks is funny or worthwhile, another audience will observe with disinterest (or dyspepsia, I'm still not sure what the issue was that day.) Interestingly enough, individuals change their responses to a certain stimulus depending on the audience they are a part of. I have laughed at stupid movies like "Napolean Dynamite" with my friends in ways that I never would if I was with my parents or teachers. Doing so would undermine my competence and intelligence. But not laughing with friends would undermine my sense of fun in their eyes.
I would say that audience is just as important in how a message is delivered as the message itself. Feeding meat to babies is unwise, and so is feeding Gerber's Baby Food to adults. Trust me, my older brother spat it back all over me!
But really, the metaphor applies. We need to tailor our messages to the audiences consuming them. That's an important part of communication, as well as culinary work.
It was fun, it was funny. Until that fateful morning. Our audience changed. We stood in our pressed suits in a small classroom, performing for about twenty attentive audience members. The time came, and I deliver my line: "hot-blooded, muscular young ruffian!" We stared at the specified person. Nothing happened. He stared back with a dazed unflinching look, as if to say "oh, the monkeys stopped talking! Interesting,..." An awful silence filled the room. Everyone stared at us. No one laughed. 5 seconds passed. My partner and I increased our creepy look from "hey there, I'm your facebook stalker!" to "Come here and let me eat your liver, child!" Nothing. 10 seconds.
AWKWARD!
We moved on quickly, trying not to laugh ourselves at how utterly ackward the situation was.
Clearly, audience is important. What one audience thinks is funny or worthwhile, another audience will observe with disinterest (or dyspepsia, I'm still not sure what the issue was that day.) Interestingly enough, individuals change their responses to a certain stimulus depending on the audience they are a part of. I have laughed at stupid movies like "Napolean Dynamite" with my friends in ways that I never would if I was with my parents or teachers. Doing so would undermine my competence and intelligence. But not laughing with friends would undermine my sense of fun in their eyes.
I would say that audience is just as important in how a message is delivered as the message itself. Feeding meat to babies is unwise, and so is feeding Gerber's Baby Food to adults. Trust me, my older brother spat it back all over me!
But really, the metaphor applies. We need to tailor our messages to the audiences consuming them. That's an important part of communication, as well as culinary work.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Soap, Men, and Alan Ladd--All on the Same Page!
Being on the same page.
When I ponder being on the same page, I think of an experience I had last year. I was enrolled in an online Pre-Calc Class for two separate semesters. What I failed to notice was that the two semesters used different editions of the same textbook. When I went to do my homework, the problems didn't make any sense. I was entirely frustrated and didn't do my homework for a few months. I was so convinced that the class curriculum was wrong. I knew I wasn't wrong! I later came to find out that neither was necessarily wrong, it was just that we were on different pages.
Being on the same page is obviously important in persuasive writing. If two people aren't on the same page, understanding one another and communicating respectfully, the result will be stagnation and frustration.
In terms of food, being on the same page is important as well. I heard of a man who once went to a restaurant in a South American country and ordered "el jabon."He meant to order "la jamon," or "ham". Instead he ordered "soap." Perhaps my memory is embellishing the story, but I believe the waiter brought him a bar of soap on a plate, as if to say "Silly Gringo, soap is for idiots!" Another man wandered Columbia, lost on a study abroad program, telling restaurant owners, "Tengo Hombre!" He meant to say "Tengo Hambre"--"I have hunger." He was really telling them, "I have man."
Clearly, being on the same page linguistically is important when ordering food. Communication is also important within a single language. I remember eating at a restaurant where everything you ordered came out three sizes bigger than you anticipated. One of our party ordered a burger. We expected to see a dead cow fried between two planks of bread. It came out, a singular burger about the size of a poker chip. It stood alone, the nonconformist burger that never flinched as the rest of the table burst into laughter. It was like Alan Ladd in the movie Shane, standing strong and proud, alone on the wild plane of a porcelain plate. Funny thing, Ladd was barely taller than five feet. Alan Ladd, the burger, was also confident in it's own size.
Communication is important. Being on the same page is important. That's all I have to say. If you'll excuse me, I've gotta run by McDonald's and pick up an Alan Ladd with fries.
When I ponder being on the same page, I think of an experience I had last year. I was enrolled in an online Pre-Calc Class for two separate semesters. What I failed to notice was that the two semesters used different editions of the same textbook. When I went to do my homework, the problems didn't make any sense. I was entirely frustrated and didn't do my homework for a few months. I was so convinced that the class curriculum was wrong. I knew I wasn't wrong! I later came to find out that neither was necessarily wrong, it was just that we were on different pages.
Being on the same page is obviously important in persuasive writing. If two people aren't on the same page, understanding one another and communicating respectfully, the result will be stagnation and frustration.
In terms of food, being on the same page is important as well. I heard of a man who once went to a restaurant in a South American country and ordered "el jabon."He meant to order "la jamon," or "ham". Instead he ordered "soap." Perhaps my memory is embellishing the story, but I believe the waiter brought him a bar of soap on a plate, as if to say "Silly Gringo, soap is for idiots!" Another man wandered Columbia, lost on a study abroad program, telling restaurant owners, "Tengo Hombre!" He meant to say "Tengo Hambre"--"I have hunger." He was really telling them, "I have man."
Clearly, being on the same page linguistically is important when ordering food. Communication is also important within a single language. I remember eating at a restaurant where everything you ordered came out three sizes bigger than you anticipated. One of our party ordered a burger. We expected to see a dead cow fried between two planks of bread. It came out, a singular burger about the size of a poker chip. It stood alone, the nonconformist burger that never flinched as the rest of the table burst into laughter. It was like Alan Ladd in the movie Shane, standing strong and proud, alone on the wild plane of a porcelain plate. Funny thing, Ladd was barely taller than five feet. Alan Ladd, the burger, was also confident in it's own size.
Communication is important. Being on the same page is important. That's all I have to say. If you'll excuse me, I've gotta run by McDonald's and pick up an Alan Ladd with fries.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Breakfast and Bloodbaths
What did I have for breakfast today?
As an interjection, I think a girl once asked me that at an EFY dance. I was pretty much completely caught off gaurd. "Um, I ate in the cannon center. So did you. What is it to you what I ate? Are you just being friendly? or are you secretly considering keeping contact with me for seven years and then becoming my eternal companion, and you want to make sure I have good eating habits so that I don't instill overeating and slothfulness in our posterity for generations?"
That's not really what I said. I probably said something like "Cereal. You?"
Ahh, EFY.
But to the subject matter, I was one of the many students who this morning lost track of time and overslept, and so I ran out the door eating a yogurt without a spoon as I ran to class. It was a difficult task. Not only was my head moving around like a pig under a blanket as I speed-walked past the Cannon Center, but the yogurt was noncooperative. It didn't want to come out of the bottom of the container any more than I wanted to come out of my bed sheets this morning. What if the vending machines were to vend Go-gurts? Who wouldn't like that?
After class, I stopped in the Cannon Center and ate a muffin, potatoes, ham, a peach slushie, fruit and yogurt. MMM the Cannon Center is good eating.
And what is my favorite food?
This requires a little history. It's only interesting to me, so I'll keep it short.
I was on a Speech and Debate team in high school in Bozeman Montana. The competition was fierce between our school and Flathead High. For nearly a decade, Bozeman was robbed of the state trophy each year. Not only was Flathead competition, but their coaches had a legacy of cheating and manipulating scores. This allowed us to demonize them into something of a monster when there were really some nice people on the team. (I remember our student body president saying something to the effect of "This year's inter-scholastic blood drive competition is coming up. But its not worth the effort. We all know Flathead is just going to donate a ton of watered-down ketchup so they can win this year, the dirty rotten cheaters!") At any rate, my senior year on the Speech team we finally won state fair and square. Oh, it was a glorious occasion. We all went out to a local pizza place, and many of us ordered the "Flathead Pizza" along with "Flathead Lake Huckleberry Cream Soda". Not only was the food uber good, but it was sort of symbolic. It was sort of like drinking the blood of an enemy after stabbing them through the heart. It became my favorite food.
A little morbid, to drink the blood of an enemy? Yeh, but it's ok; Flatheaders really only bleed watered-down ketchup anyway.
As an interjection, I think a girl once asked me that at an EFY dance. I was pretty much completely caught off gaurd. "Um, I ate in the cannon center. So did you. What is it to you what I ate? Are you just being friendly? or are you secretly considering keeping contact with me for seven years and then becoming my eternal companion, and you want to make sure I have good eating habits so that I don't instill overeating and slothfulness in our posterity for generations?"
That's not really what I said. I probably said something like "Cereal. You?"
Ahh, EFY.
But to the subject matter, I was one of the many students who this morning lost track of time and overslept, and so I ran out the door eating a yogurt without a spoon as I ran to class. It was a difficult task. Not only was my head moving around like a pig under a blanket as I speed-walked past the Cannon Center, but the yogurt was noncooperative. It didn't want to come out of the bottom of the container any more than I wanted to come out of my bed sheets this morning. What if the vending machines were to vend Go-gurts? Who wouldn't like that?
After class, I stopped in the Cannon Center and ate a muffin, potatoes, ham, a peach slushie, fruit and yogurt. MMM the Cannon Center is good eating.
And what is my favorite food?
This requires a little history. It's only interesting to me, so I'll keep it short.
I was on a Speech and Debate team in high school in Bozeman Montana. The competition was fierce between our school and Flathead High. For nearly a decade, Bozeman was robbed of the state trophy each year. Not only was Flathead competition, but their coaches had a legacy of cheating and manipulating scores. This allowed us to demonize them into something of a monster when there were really some nice people on the team. (I remember our student body president saying something to the effect of "This year's inter-scholastic blood drive competition is coming up. But its not worth the effort. We all know Flathead is just going to donate a ton of watered-down ketchup so they can win this year, the dirty rotten cheaters!") At any rate, my senior year on the Speech team we finally won state fair and square. Oh, it was a glorious occasion. We all went out to a local pizza place, and many of us ordered the "Flathead Pizza" along with "Flathead Lake Huckleberry Cream Soda". Not only was the food uber good, but it was sort of symbolic. It was sort of like drinking the blood of an enemy after stabbing them through the heart. It became my favorite food.
A little morbid, to drink the blood of an enemy? Yeh, but it's ok; Flatheaders really only bleed watered-down ketchup anyway.
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